my bestfriend's diary, thoughts to ponder

Unleashed Emotions


It feels like I’m starting to move on. I’m happy, not because the love inside me is fading away but for the fact that I could paint a smile once again. I could once again wake up each morning not thinking of that same person all over again.

Honestly, I would really want to forget you, erase you in my life. Countless times, you’ve been telling me to just forget all those promising conversations we had. I tried but then, I can’t do it, I won’t be able to do it. The memories we had keeps on flashing inside my mind and I don’t know how to overcome it. It’s funny how I oftentimes cry whenever I watch movies. This was the effect from loving you so deeply, I easily got carried away.

I wanted to forget everything about you.. For letting me go, for not loving me anymore, for everything. I had my lapses, I admit and I’m sorry. This is me. I just can’t be the girl that you really wanted. I could be better  but I can’t totally change.

You always say that you have accepted me for what and for who I am. But that’s not what I’ve seen in you. Maybe you do, but not the totality of me.

When I was younger, I told myself that I would not dig for love. Love hurts. I have seen those hurts through my family and friends and I don’t want to feel the same way. I made myself discrete to other people so I won’t be hurt.

Yet, when I met you, my perception on love changed. I have thought of giving love a try. And indeed, I found happiness. Happiness that I have not felt before. Happiness that I have found in your arms. Though it was not the usual relationship we had, you still gave me the new meaning of love.

But then here I am, still mending the heart that you have broken. For now, I’m going to return to that discrete self of mine. Perhaps a few crushes would do. But love? I’ll pass. I was happy without it before, and I’d still be happy without it today. I still have friends with me after all.

Things have been really different now. You have your life and I’m going to move on. So let me go. Cut the invisible thread that you’ve put on me. I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I think this would be good for the both of us.

Then again, there are things that would remain the same..

We’d still be the best of friends. You can still count on me..

You were my first, and i hope you would still be my last..
I’d still love you..

Thanks for the memories..
I’m glad I’ve shared it with you..



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