“Some things are just not meant to last. Let’s leave it that way. It’s better that we move on and continue our lives.” Her whispers in his ear were like daggers piercing in his heart.
“It’s over?” He managed to say with his voice shuddering.
“There’s no IT, John. There never was. Nor an US, a WE, or whatever. There never was.” Then she stood as if she never cared. She walked out of the restaurant leaving tears in his eyes. She never looked back. She only hesitated, but never dared. She was afraid she’d be taken aback. She was afraid she’d go back into his arms again. She was afraid she was too weak to resist his love. She was afraid she’d make the wrong the decision.
* * * * *
It was nothing more than friendship. Or at least she thought. She was committed. No, she’s not married or is marrying someone. She was committed to her work, her studies, her family and everything else that she felt mattered in her life. She met him in one of those events that she volunteered to head. Yes, she was fond of doing work. She was very fond of multi-tasking.
It was nothing more than chit-chats over the internet, over the phone or through silly text messages. Or at least he thought. He was only being friendly. No, he wasn’t using her. He was just being himself when they were introduced on a dull afternoon at some convention. They were both committee members, they were both good. He liked it that way, the way he has loads of work to do, the way he has to cram his projects and papers.
Their cliques noticed the spark—they didn’t. They noticed it too late. They noticed it after they decided to deny it. They were protecting their friendship. They were killing the love. They were trying to keep up with their friends’ pressures on them being a couple. They were trying to tell themselves it was nothing. They were thinking it was wrong, it was forbidden. They thought their friendship was perfect, it was not to be thrown away by some silly infatuation. They tried to act normal. They tried harder to hide their feelings. They weren’t progressing, they weren’t very good actors.
She was graduating from college and already had work waiting for her. She thought having relationships would only ruin things for her. She thought it was better to wait. She thought what they had would pass away quickly. She thought it was just a little flame. But deep down, she knew she was beginning to fall, she was afraid of this—this what was she didn’t want.
He was a year younger than her. He thought it would be perfect to be with her but he never had the courage to ask. He thought it was better to wait. He thought it might just be a little less than love. He thought that if he’d give it a little time, it might fade away. But deep down, he knew he had ‘a thing’ for her, he was afraid of this—he was afraid he was actually falling for her.
* * * * *
His car was still in the parking lot and he was still crying. When he left the restaurant, he was ready to forget her; he was ready to resign his feelings. His confession of love wasn’t good enough for her. He thought he ruined everything they had. He thought he was the one who ended their friendship with a stupid ‘I love you’.
She was driving on the freeway with tears in her eyes. Her heart was aching but she didn’t care. She has to make this decision, she thought. She loved him but never had the courage to tell him. She never gave ‘them’ a chance. She thought she ruined everything. She thought she was the one who ended everything.
* * * * *
They were both afraid. They both didn’t want to risk. They thought it wasn’t worth it. They thought it was better to wait. But it was their only chance, it was the only time they had.
They thought they lost something—no, they thought wrong.
It wasn’t theirs in the first place.
Some things are just meant to happen now, not later, not tomorrow–but making it happen relies on us.
Credits from katokz of Peyups